chaotic lifestyle & entangled heart affairs.

Lost Signals & Miscommunications

2008-02-28T15:38:00.004+08:00

Wiped the tears off and turned to the other side of the bed.
What was the point of tearing?
If it doesn't solve the problem?
I'm becoming what i used to be like the last time.
Which makes things worse, yes you too would agree with me.

Pretending that's it's gonna be alright isn't easy.
You too also know that for sure.
Trouble in paradise.
I don't even know whether it was "paradise" to begin with.

Well, here's a little tibit for you guys.
Something small, but yet still 100% awesome.

And I don't know what's really goin' on

I love you Rooney.
Your music is pretty sounding orgasm in my ears.
To who-ever-you-are, i bet if you heard this song, you would say it has alot of
relevance.

goodbye world.

Topsy turvy suburbia

2008-01-29T04:04:00.000+08:00

So i'm listening for the weather to predict the coming days

I genuinely had fun today.
Rather interesting day i have to say.
Though it was full of ups and downs, it was a day to remember.
A trip to the North,
an unexpected face to ever show up at Squirtle's place (inside joke),
fabulous cozy dinner at A-star,
sharing session under a block,
lets-sing-together,
5 minutes of non-stop laughing,
a movie that showed real determination,
& lastly,
lying down on the road at 4 in the morning.

unique i must say don't you think?
goodnight world.

Where in the future

2008-01-27T11:56:00.001+08:00

It's really interesting to see everybody's got their lives planned out.
Embarking on a route to reach their goal.
Getting ready for new experiences.
What about me?

Where did my heart go missing

2008-01-15T04:55:00.000+08:00

So i guess i really died from this huh.

I wished i could say i'm back for good but I never like to say things that would not come true.

Hopefully i will baby yeah?

A song for those who mourn for the end of 2007.
A song for those who hope for a better year.

Song lyrics | No Happily Never After Lyrics lyrics

That just ain't for me, because finally
I know I deserve better after all.

It's for me to know and for you to find out

2007-09-27T17:48:00.000+08:00

goodnight goodnight

2007-09-25T16:44:00.000+08:00

Not with the flow today. Seriously need to dunk my head in Ice water.
Maybe that would work.Maybe..

tuned out.

I "love" Graphs

2007-09-24T22:58:00.000+08:00

Bet you miss seeing this don't you!

I have made a decision.
I have decided to love graphs.
Or at least convince myself with a grin on my face
"Alrighty now! This is fun!"
YA RIGHT.

I meant, yeah right: )

today's a sinful day and i hate feeling guilty but i do:(
1. I ate an Up-sized Mcwings meal.
2. I didn't go for tutorial.
3. I took a extremely long nap.
4. I ate Chocolate right before dinner.
5. I lied.

This is bad i tell you.
BAD
BAD
BAD.

Maths tuition was rather fun today.
J was just telling me of how he once dreamt of MATHS.
1 + 2 = 5 ??
HAHAS.
Apparently, that's what he said. But he still did well anyways.

Our humorous conversation we had.
Me: Wow! You have nice handwriting. Boys don't usually have nice handwriting.
J: Err, I'm a man.

Hahas, nonsenses i tell you.

goodnight world.

R FOR RROSE

2007-09-23T23:09:00.000+08:00

I rather be a silly girl with a rose,
then a silly boy with a stick.

goodnight world.

Please don't tear my paper wings

2007-09-23T02:20:00.000+08:00

I had dreams of monsters.

Melancholic mood.
The coldness of the night surrounds me.
Swallows me up and locks me inside.
Without air, i suffocate in this illusionary dungeon
I shouldn't have been too complacent
I should have foreseen this
Ever so heavy & ever so stubborn
I'm crushed to the ground
By its silence.

goodnight world.

But Honey Pie, you're not safe here

2007-09-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

I was an inch close not going to school today.
I wanted to remain in my land where nothing mattered.
Well, that only applies when i don't dream of course:)
But I'm glad i did actually.

We had a youth talk about life on the hold.
Issues each and everyone of us have difficulty with.

I really enjoyed the 7hours i spent there.

PARADIGMS
we all have it.

Whatever we've done sth wrong or wished to have changed sth about ourselves, our lives, our words, our actions, that's all the in past now.

What I've constantly said to myself or to people is that what matters the most is right now.

It was good to hear back the advice i once preached.
You can't change the past, but you can treasure right now & change the future.

Here's an inspiring message to whose who need some light in their lives.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. - quoted by Marianne Williamson

You know that feeling where everything feels right?
Where you don't have to worry about tomorrow or yesterday, where you feel safe and know you're doing the best you can?
There's a word for that, it's called love.
L-O-V-E.

maybe i'll find it someday.

goodnight world.

Ice Ice baby

2007-09-20T23:31:00.000+08:00

People dream of having dreams.
I don't.
I get the weirdest ones ever!

Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie + paparazzi = extremely weird.

I once had a dream of an Editor telling me it was a
" Dog eat dog world. "
Does that makes sense to you?
With additional sentences like " one-night stand " involved.
HAHAS
i won't tell you about that part!

But it was hilarious:D

I need to get a new piggy.
My piggy bank broke:(
It had a tragic death.
It was the best piggy i ever had.

Best kiss

I wanna do this someday:)

Please remember me,wonder about me,look for me,find me - A place called here.

goodnight world.

PURPLE VEINS

2007-09-19T17:58:00.000+08:00

CANDY YUM!

Have you seen any cuter candy shop then this?

Did i tell you?
I'm convinced that my Ipod is a female.
It's totally & utterly obsessed with Zac Efron!
Everytime i plug in, an Efron's song will be played without fail.

Me: " Kat your a Anorexic freak "
kat: " Your a Fashion nerd freak "
Me: " At least I'm fashionable:)

Okay,fine.
I hope to be at least!
hahas

Katsie. Cheer up.
Whether you are taking pure bio or not, i know you can do it.
And you will always be beautiful to me:)

A lovely message for you cardybuddy:
I know your going through a really tough time.
I know no one can be compared to you cause everybody goes through different kind of hardship.

Just know that i'm here for you always.
With Olevels in the way, it's gonna be slightly tighter for now on but know that i'm always here for you.

I know love him.
You care so much for him
But if things don't ever work out, know that you deserve so much more alright?

Finding this book could have been the death of me, i tell you.
But I DID IT.
I found it :D

A funny clip just you.
get cracking:)

OH. GUESS WHAT.
I managed to fix the kitchen light!
Something to feel proud of.
This is what you have to do when you do not have a domestic helper.
sigh.

I don't want to fall in love
I don't want to see the stars up above in the sky

So i closed my eyes & said goodbye.

There she goes with a twinkle in her eyes.

2007-09-18T14:02:00.000+08:00

So finally done with the prelims.

YES? NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

This means the next step is Olevels.
That means DOOM.

I'm here to talk with you my cabby rides i had!

The cab driver said:
You chinese indian ah!
I said:
Er, yes :)

And this is what i found out from the uncle.
95% of the Singapore indians are drinkers.
99% of the Singapore chinese men are gamblers.
So i wondered. What does that make me?

Oops, i'm not a guy:D

I shall relate to another fun cab ride i had.
This uncle said " I had three wives."
Me: Okay.
Know what i called my last wife?
China doll.
You know what i called my second last wife?
Barbie doll.
You know what my first wife was called?
Aiyoyo.

PANADOL LA.

HAHAHAHAS. I sure did enjoy that cab ride.

Something fun for you to watch.

Laugh your way to bed.

goodnight world.

I am a vernier calipers

2007-09-18T02:35:00.000+08:00

What happened to the serenity?

Made my way down to City hall to collect some stuff.
Took a walk in Mall and realised that they are also upgrading themselves.
Talk about being left behind man.
Anyways, walked into boutiques i couldn't afford: (

So decided to stay in City to TRY and study.

Yes world, the word is CAPITALISED up.

Phone was busy buzzing away at the wrong time.
Either i get no calls when i'm ultimately bored or,
when i'm extremely packed with things to do,
tonnes of messages come in.

Mood swings didn't help at all.
It happily made things worse.

Afraid of me?
Be very very afraid.

The train ride home was a peculiar one.
I caught a lady continuously staring at me!

Everytime i sensed her gaze upon me,
I would look at her and i would catch her eyeballs pretending to look in a different direction!
It didn't get any better when i managed to get a sit.
Unfortunately,
next to her.
Maybe she thought i was her long-lost younger sister or something.

Have you ever denied something that existed?
And when that existence of that denial became heavier,
you seem to have been drawn into more denial?

That denial of existence kept your oil lamp burning,
however when that existence faded away,
your lamp grew weaker?

Denial of that existence.
Where have you gone?

goodnight world.

Oh to the girl who nickname me "Vernier Calipers",

YOUR'RE A MICROMETER SCREW GAUGE :D

<3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME :)

2007-09-14T01:42:00.000+08:00

SWEET

I'm finally 17.
It feels weird actually saying it.
" Hi there! Guess what! It's my birthday today & I'm 17! "

I get to be a total kid for the day.
I get to stomp my feet, whine, cry, make funny faces :D

HAHAS.

It's nice to know i've got treated meals that are awaiting me. hahas

To:
Sherie - After prelims ah. I can't wait.
Charles - Bring me out you say? I'll hold you to your words!

I want a teddy bear, a lollipop, flowers, a new doll house ...

I get to be the spoilt brat for the day :D
HAHAS

Relax, i'm just kidding.

Hope i do have a great day ahead.

goodbye world.

A tear from the sky tonight

2007-09-12T13:24:00.000+08:00

It's been rather long since i last typed an entry.
Yes, i know what your thinking.
WHY HAVE I ABANDONED YOU! you yelp inside:D

I haven't and i didn't, don't worry.

2 months huh, time does pass fast when you least expect it to.
Especially when life becomes cloudy and sometimes you just don't wanna think about it.
SO!
I'll talk about more interesting stuff.

So i caught I know who killed me yesterday night.
Boy, did it scare the living daylights out of me.
I knew it was a semi-horror movie however i wasn't prepared for what i saw yesterday.
Horror, yes.
Scares me to the core, but it's fun to watch.
Adrenaline rush, heart pumping faster all the blood gush.
That's fun.
But GORE?
Oh no no no no.

I bet i was the loudest in the cinema.
But i didn't care because it was so terrifying!
Whether the ratings for it was good or bad, I must say Lindsay wasn't that bad.
If she could make me afraid, i guess she had me then.
Derrick! You didn't tell me there was going to be gore la.
Some more want to scare me in the cinema!
Just wait.
One day,i'll creep out from the dark corner and scare you!
Back to Lohan.
She was awfully hot. Boys, in for some stripteases?

Who knew i could put the pieces together when i was too busy being 100% terrified?
I can't believe my suspect was the music teacher.
and so he was the one.
How creepy is that!

But what really crept me out the most was how he knew so much about her.
All the similar facts i picked out from the movie, really made me feel frightened to go home by myself.
After all, my block is no longer safe.
I shall not scare you so i won't disclose the block number.

I'm really afraid to see him again.
The 1st time was bad enough to already burn a horrible mark in my memory.
The 2nd time was for me to hide away.
The 3rd time just a earth check to me that he hasn't disappeared yet.

The memory of his voice snakes its way through my body causes all my muscles to petrify.

I didn't get to thank the girls for the lovely roses that day.
So here's my big shout out.
I LOVE THEM <3

For all you blood thirsting people.

When the blood flows into your veins, your breath catches and your min spins out into that huge black space of unreality - marshmallows for breakfast

I should just find my equilibrium & concentrate on the more important things.

tata world.

Do you?

2007-07-08T22:47:00.000+08:00

everybody laughs
everybody cries

how about you?

Call me a quitter.

Put on your retro boots

2007-07-05T23:38:00.000+08:00

A retro special for this main stream world.

I know i've been just showing videos after videos.
But, not to fear more will come out of this soon world.

Chattanooga Choo Choo me home.

goodnight world.

Why you have red eyes,red nose & red lips

2007-07-03T23:42:00.000+08:00

I love keane.

A bad dream.

We all have bad dreams.
Don't we?

M.I.A.
Missing person.
The person goes by the name zara.
If found please contact this no.
100-xx-i-found-her-xx-01.

goodbye world.

PROFOUND INSANITY

2007-07-01T02:32:00.000+08:00

hope you find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Coldplay - fix you

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse?

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worst?

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you,

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Sufferings
Burdens
Regrets
Hopelessness
Lost
Denial
Sleepless nights
Brokenness
Suicidal
Pessimistic
Smothered
Invisible
Rejected
Left out
Drained
Melancholic
Angst
Wasted
Screwed up
Tortured
Pressured
Displaced
Unworthy

We carry the weight of the world.
We make mistakes that we once said we'll never commit again.
We sometimes wish, all these are just many bad dreams.
We wear masks to hide away what is..
uncensored,restricted,reality of this profound insanity.

To all imperfections,
we're only humans.

To put the mess in perspective,
we simply like to just know.
If only we gave,
a little concern,
a fraction of time,
a simple smile
and a teaspoon of love.

May then the world could be a better place.
goodnight world.

Unreachable.

2007-06-30T10:10:00.000+08:00

wmode="transparent">
Life pretty much isn't working out for me.

But,i guess the show must go on.

Life & death, good & bad, male & female, win & lose, lost & found.

It's a busy busy day world.
tata.

IN FEAR I SHIVERRR

2007-06-23T01:52:00.000+08:00

Lyrics provided by LyricsMode

I'm doomed.

HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND.

1,2, you know what to do.

2007-06-22T07:40:00.000+08:00

It's like 7.48am and i'm totally still am awake.
Had one of the most CHAOTIC nights ever! Goodness.
Ready to hear it?
Got an outfit that i thought was pretty casual,just added accessories to it.
Totally got lost up in the moment of what i was doing and then came back to reality.
Took cab to clarke quay and went to macs for abit.
Thinking i was going to bum into a family relative but luckily i didn't.
As the night unfolded itself, the events soon after happened too quick & too unnoticed.

I DROPPED MY PHONE.
Yes, world it did happen.

Thinking i was going to burst out into tears or have a break down.
To my amazement,both situations totally did not happen!
With all that's happening in this life of mine, i did my quick thinking.
I was going to get a new card,(prayed to god dad would get me a phone) and restore important details.
The situation got more mixed up.

Till......
A kind soul picked up my phone and said..

"I found your phone.".

Good morning world.

TRANSFORMERS!

2007-06-12T22:01:00.000+08:00

Soo, i decided to bring the camera to the market.

Carrying boxes to the salvary army post wasn't as easy as i thought it would be.
But caffeine did do the trick to refresh my mind,body&soul!
choco bits... mmm! i like.
Walked around, mentally prepared my next shopping list.
Looks like by the end of this week, i'll be broke again.
I need to start saving!
Yes world, don't laugh;)
Played 2games of pool and honestly speaking,
it was the fastest games of pool i ever played in my life!
The pockets weren't as wide as classic's one but it was a blast.

Transformers! Robots in disguise.
random? Tell me about it.

goodnight world.

he's gotta be larger than life

2007-06-10T21:59:00.000+08:00

'til the end of the night.
It's picture day world.
And it's hell gonna be a darn long post.
HOLD TIGHT.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANTON! once again.
Your party was fun;)

Boy, did he want to be the model for the night.

psss, what's the new gossip?

GOOD lord! what in the world are they doing! hahas

and there's more scandal!

Testing testing! Okay, their working people.

Random? that's me.

Lightwave me.

This one is for the kids!

tata world.

HOW MANY DROPS DO YOU WANT?

2007-06-07T19:46:00.000+08:00

Inside joke.
value="http://media.imeem.com/m/5CDt5utUIR/aus=false/">

Class cycling outing.

Rental was from 5 to 7 bucks.
The last time i cycled was.. last year? hahas
We played something like baseball after our cycle.
We had really enthusiastic & not so enthusiastic players.
We had 'divers' and 'gliders'.
hahas
S & I shared a hilarious moment in subway.
With the bread,the meat,the veggie & lastly the dressing.

ciao world.

watch the cameras flash

2007-06-05T23:23:00.000+08:00

SNAP!

We had literature programme that lasted for 6hours.
Can we imagine how sore our bum bums were at the end of it!
Not considering the fact our bodies have not quite recovered from the pushing on sunday.
hahas, but it was fun. I won't say i didn't enjoy myself just the hours were abit too long. That's all.
A big shout out to Julia & JP;)

It's all snapshots and vague descriptions.
Maybe it'll get better.

A new one from Hilary.
Listen closely to the lyrics world.
They are rather meaningful.

You made yourself look perfect in everyway,
So when this goes down, I'm the one that will be blamed.

goodnight world.

oh! and to cardbuddy.

With all the lies in the books

2007-06-05T01:11:00.000+08:00

So much missed. I forgot to share with you a new video!
Before you jump on me, i thought world you should know 2 things.
Yes, EVERYBODY loves mychemicalromance.
However, first and foremost you should know that gerard & frank are mine.

goodnight world.

A LIVING DRAMA SERIES..

2007-06-04T22:09:00.001+08:00

WOAH-OHH!

border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5072213003378301426" />
Boy, i sure have been away for donkey years.
So much drama.
So many incidents.
And so the story goes on...

FIRST OF ALL TO..

ANDERLIN & COPELAND
awesome concert!

I had fun. The queuing wasn't torturous however, the moshing was crazy man. One of the worse for me. Right smack in the middle with all the possessed boys. I swear, I'm not kidding. There were weirdos. One that kept turning to my direction and yelling the song and his saliva came coming out.

COPELAND

One of the best songs of the night.

Now..if you sang this to me, then you sure know how to get me.

ANDERLIN

i had a great night. Saw cute people and wanna thank the guy who stood beside me for the last bit of the concert.
He was nice;)
P.s i wanna say another HUGE thanks to Ryan for giving me the picturess.
loves
tata,world.

GO WITH THE FLOW

2007-05-27T22:09:00.000+08:00

destination.

STAY AWAY FROM ME

2007-05-20T01:18:00.000+08:00

I WAS GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY DAY TILL SOMEONE HAD TO COMPLETELY RUIN IT.
THANKS ALOT. NOW PLEASE GOO AWAY.

I HAD A DREAM

2007-05-16T23:10:00.000+08:00

I had a dream...

I was being sent to a dead sentence of being hanged.
(I can't remember why i was to be hanged.)
Upon being hanged, i didn't even feel the strangle for air when i was let go.
Instead i entered another world.
A world of the walking dead.
Every soul existed amongst the living, they just couldn't be seen.
We were taught to walk through people and remain on earth for a trial period...
To my surprise i even met a friend who was dead in my dream.

Horrifying?
The best part is yet to be heard.
I thought of death before i slept.
A bedtime story from me to you, goodnight world.

ANGST WITHIN

2007-05-15T22:20:00.000+08:00

I think the heading says it all.
What do you think?
You put me down over and over again.
When will you ever end?

goodnight world.
I guess today's not a good day.
again.

2007-05-14T16:54:00.001+08:00

LET'S CLIMB A TREE..

2007-05-14T16:54:00.000+08:00

You say cliche? I say how adorable.

I know i've been uploading alot of pictures but this is as good as it gets for now!

To the girl in mauritius

2007-05-13T22:18:00.000+08:00

To my eastcoast buddy.
I miss you so very much.

Oh how cute you were.

Remember the shots we had?

we had fun.

Paint fights and thinner aroma.

How silly we acted at the arcade.

Our trips to the beaches and music in the background.

and this is our song.

You so have to sing me for again when you come back.
If you ever that is.

hahas.

Zara hugs you kat. <33

And so they say...

2007-05-13T02:21:00.000+08:00

and so they say...
"ooouchhhhhhh. I've got a cramped toe!"

I really had a bad toe cramp! hahas.
I could only wriggled my big toe and the rest after the second toe.
yes, laugh it up.
It was painful okay!
hahahahahas.

Anything beyond this is not really important.
Soooo.. you can close this link now.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't want to go to bed crying anymore.
I don't want to continue this road of self-pity.
I know now that things will never work out between us.
I tried different approaches to reach you.
I woke up with smiles that were based on lies that you cared.
It's not like I'm going to die without you
But the agony you created in me could have killed me.
Every sad song made me cry with you in it.
You occupied all the space i had in my brain.
Does this sound obsessively frightening to your horror?
it gets worse, trust me.

I made a huge mistake with someone that made a impact in my life years ago.
3 days was all it took and lasted me quite sometime.
I could never forgive myself for such a foolish act.
I told myself never again will i make that with someone i felt close to my heart.
And you were the next It-guy along my track.
I don't fall easily, boy you check.
Some used to call me "heartbreaker; insensitive"
What did they know?
Only criticize without knowing anything about me.
If you blow me away with your personality at first impression, you got me already.
If you don't blow me away, i'm really sorry this is how i'm made.

You made me giggle to myself by your every message.
You made my heart beat faster than running a km.
You made me smile with your quirkiness
Your charming character made me fall even more apart your blessed looks.
You brought straight-shot happiness in this walking corpse

Weird as it is,
I knew i loved you.
But i tried to hide.
It was too strong for me to handle.
And you just don't see how much it made an impact on me.

You say all the girls say they love you.
But did you bother looking out for me?
I didn't care if you couldn't drink
I didn't care if you loved techno
I didn't even care if you were called the black sheep
Because you meant so much more to me.

Disappear.
Just stay away from me.
The more you pretend to forget me, the clearer it gets in my eyes.

These words i said to you:

Turn off the lights so you can't see my eyes.

Do they sound familiar? Do they ring a bell?
The reason i said that was because i wanted the lights off cause I was the girl crying and the darkness took me in when i was broken.

I loved you stranger.
I actually believed in love at first sight for you,
and you?
You just pushed me aside...

For you mommy.

2007-05-11T12:26:00.000+08:00

Oh mommy lovely flowers for you

And mid years are over!
Rejoice oh rejoice you say.
I'm here to disagree with you.
It maybe the end of mid years but the preparation of my mother's yelling has yet to start.
So i've decided that i'm gonna take a short break and get back on track with studies.
Hopefully it won't be too disastrous.
Why do some of us have difficulty letting go?
Because we become too dependent on that certain something or someone
or we believe eventually there's hope at the end of the tunnel?
what is it that's keeping us from letting go?
Ourselves?

Zara out to spend time with mom.
<3

Gummy bears with love

2007-05-10T20:46:00.000+08:00

Still sniffing and definitely still blowing.
There wasn't any paper today so it was a stay-home day for mee!
I was really excited being at home thinking of all the things i could do.
Whether it was the laundry, or clean up my room bla bla bla.
I sat on the couch and i didn't get up after that. Lazy bum you say? I say yesss.
Can't blame me if the medicine i'm taking constantly makes me tired and sleepy.
Whatever it is, it was emotions spiraling downwards.
Jovial -> tired -> melancholic.
Tsk.
I should take more medicine.
tata world.

MUSE SPECIAL

2007-05-08T20:34:00.001+08:00

i can't breathe.

Z out.

Succumbing to the sneezes

2007-05-07T21:44:00.000+08:00

falling sick again.
I can feel it.
Where did you go?
Come back.

What you leave behind
What you choose to be

SILLY BILLY YOUU

2007-05-06T21:38:00.000+08:00

Guess what world...

I A M H A P P Y !

i received a message.

A good message.

A happy message.

Thunder storms in my life have stopped for a moment.

Just a glimpse of hope of resurrection.

Saying the word HAPPY never felt so good.

ZARA KISSES YOU <3

Anticipation, for precipitation.

2007-05-03T19:39:00.000+08:00

Ella ella eh eh eh .

In the city was a sinner.

2007-04-29T22:02:00.000+08:00

2 words.
Mood swings.
This can only mean one thing world. hahas.
Today's chinese paper2 was absolutely horrible.
IT TOTALLY CHEATED ME OF MY FEELINGS.
Just went you think it's manageable.
Stupide.
Another totally distracted day.
It's either pigging out on junkies,walking about or slouching on the couch.
I'm really going to fail.
Gulps.
I've got NO future.

I was distracted by thoughts of a particular thing.
Thing #.
Maybe i really like you.
Maybe things aren't meant to be but why are you still here?
Lingering here, swinging from capillary to capillary.
Stupide!
It has got to stop now.
NOW.

MAROON 5's back! YAYYAYE!

__________________MAKE ME WONDER__________________

toodles world.

Inner kid.

2007-04-29T22:00:00.000+08:00

I tell you, this will become vintage one day.
Love happy meals!
A cartoon clip for that inner kid of yours that's dying to come out!

tata.

Up till 5 in the morning.

2007-04-29T16:20:00.000+08:00

no clue what's going on?
A woman whose questioning herself.
What has she been doing with her life all this while?
She wants a change.
She's moving on.

I want to burn things up too.
Anyone wants to offer?
Can't believe i was up till 5 in the morning.
What's happening? i would definitely want to know.
Suffering? Everyone in the world have their own sufferings.
So what makes mine so different?
everything in it.
trust me.

goodbye world.

When happening doesn't happen.

2007-04-27T22:04:00.000+08:00

Let's do the zombie walk.
RA A RA A RA A RA.
Alright that wasn't necessary but felt like saying that.
It's been pretty gloomy the whole day.
It simply contributes to the oppressive feeling i've been having recently.
Horrid. Simply horrid.
Thought thinking could never be heard? Think again.
My thoughts in my head are speaking far too loudly and i can't hear anything else.

Howling Bells - Low Happening

Oh my multiple complications.

goodnight to you, mad mad world.
zZz out.

MAYBE THIS.

2007-04-24T17:51:00.000+08:00

Nausea.Diarrhorea (did i spell that correctly?). bla bla.
Doctor's order : No solid food & no sharing of food.

I've been eating porridge 3days in a row.
It's about time for a change!
Right now, my life's placed on hold for the time being.
Maybe most of my actions aren't put on hold but definitely, stuff going on up there!

Maybe too much putting on hold is a bad thing.
Whatever it is, i've got loads of pictures to show and music to share.
Another time i guess.

Tata!
Z out.

AWAY ON MC.

2007-04-22T15:24:00.000+08:00

WILL BE BACK SOON.

GASTRIC FLU? STOMACH ULCER? CHOYYY.

TO KAT: HUN, I'LL GET BACK TO YOU SHORTLY OKAY. WHATEVER IT IS, JUST HANG IN THERE. I KNOW YOUR A STRONG GIRL.

TO JEMIE: HEY HUN. SORRY I'VE BEEN M.I.A. ALOT RECENTLY. I'LL PROMISE TO CATCH UP. PROMISE.

OUCCHHHHHH.
Z OUT.

Neutral Atom

2007-04-18T22:28:00.000+08:00

Muscle aching from all the "vigorous" Napfa items.
OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Was having a chat with Tabasco on how the annoying bus was being full of nonsenses. What's the point of going to the bus stop earlier when the freaking bus does not stop!
All the school can tell us, "You've got to find a alternative way to come to school. Go to Tana Merah and walk to school.".
Why in the world would i want to take a route that is longer?
School.. THINK BEFORE YOU ADVICE.

Who would have thought life would be full of so many complications.
One day you'll read about a girl who passed away from complications of a depressed/self-pity & pessimistic heart.
That girl could be me.
alright, once again i sound way tooo morbid.
I'll write a better post soon alright?

Put on your cowboy boots world!
get ready for a slow dance.

He said, Only angels know how to fly
you're wrong.

you ought to see her fly

Zzz out <3

BLAA.

2007-04-17T20:12:00.000+08:00

ooooooo ahhhhh.

I absolutely love this song. Maybe you all have heard of it already but I'm new to the Indies genre. But i'm definitely loving it! Mixture of electro beats with vocals.
woohooo. When words fail, music speaks.

So anywayyyyyys, school's been draggy.
Same old routine.
Difficulty getting out of bed.
Having terrible eyebagss! UGH.
yes, we all share the same painful parcel of life.

I have a prediction world.
i predict this is gonna be a UGH-week.
That consists of sleeping in classes,being ultimately stone, craving for more food, not paying attention to anyone.
This is becoming a very draggy post.
I can feel it.
I shall catch some sleep and write better posts the next time!

Good night mate!

P.s. To Alaatoosie (this isn't his real name)

We never did talk things out properly. Maybe even if we did, the tension created when we've in the same room will never go away. I'm all 'lets-talk' while your simply the 'whatever-i-can't-bothered-anymore'. All you could talk to me about was about your ex-es. Loading the hurt baggages on my shoulders. I tried so hard to measure up in everywhere but changed into a different person by that mistake. All i wanted was for you to treat me the way you treated HER.
Oh right..
Thank goodness,i'm not her!

i dedicate this song to you.

MOUTH SHUT

I kept my mouth shut from the start
I guess I left you in the dark
You thought you knew me but you don't
You say you'll love me but you wont
When you find out who I am

I kept my mouth shut for too long
All this time you got me wrong
Now we're in this way too far
I'm about to break your heart
Tear everything we had apart

'Cause I'm feeling lost
When I'm in your arms
The reasons are gone
For why I was holding on to you
I tried so hard
To be the one
I don't like who I've become

Won't keep my mouth shut anymore
I've had my share of closing doors
Now I know I'm not afraid
I know exactly what you'll say
But I'm sorry it's too late

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
(I kept inside of me for all this time)
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
(Thought that I could make it work if I just tried)
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
(But I'm sorry to admit that I have lived a lie)

I kept my mouth shut for too long
Now I know that it was wrong

I wish I told you from the start
That this was never meant to last
We should've never gone this far

Won't keep my mouth shut anymore

by theVeronicas.

I WAITED 12 YEARS FOR THIS.

2007-04-16T01:37:00.001+08:00

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

Tonight was one of the most spectacular night i ever had in my entire life.

I am still mesmerized by what i just saw.
12 years of hoping and waiting and they all came true in the last 5 hours.
I'm not the kind that is engrossed in Operas 24/7.
However,The Phantom Of The Opera is simply 1 of the best thing that mankind received. All hail to Andrew Lloyd Webber!

To all who wish to criticize or condemn the The Phantom of the Opera, please do close this website. Your sharing of how you-may-not-like-the-opera,isn't something that needs to be shared with me. thank you for your understanding.

I'll be talking alot of the opera the whole week so be prepared for it!
Don't say i didn't warn you.
Original recordings of the phantom & pictures.
exciting isn't it.

To Mr. Brad little, you were fantastic.
To the whole crew, you were sensational.

got to sleep now.
out!

'...the Angel of Music sings songs in my head!"

lub. where's the dub?

2007-04-14T12:23:00.001+08:00

huh

Had our 2.4km run this morning.Oh my goodness. Can't believe it's over! I've been looking forward to the run and it's finally over. Before you go all " is she crazy?" 1st of all - I finally can put it aside and never have to worry about it ever and
2nd - I am crazy,thank you very much.

I feel like those people who had a good hard "i want to die" kind of cries and decided that it's really a time for change. Well at least feel better and do better.I mean rainy days can't last forever can they. Neither can broken hearts. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..
I've honestly got to do something about it this time round.I've always done something but maybe it didn't lead me in the right direction. I've got to try and HOPEFULLY it won't get screwed up for the gazillion-th time.I got to stop living in denial and get that life's completely out of control.
Whatever happens,happens.
Saturday, here i come!
be good to me now.
later!

Sucking too hard on your lollipop
Oh, love's gonna get you down

NA NA NA NA NA

2007-04-11T21:09:00.000+08:00

I like to say hello and welcome you, good day is my name.

Have you ever felt like kicking yourself in the butt?
For...
1) Wasting time by thinking too much.
2) Coming out with gazillion plans and not completing them.
3) Allowing yourself to eat even more when you know your already full.
4) Telling yourself to get more sleep when you go to bed at a much later time.

and the list goes on! Terrible isn't it. Well that's me you see there. I really do waste alot of time doing nothing productive.N just had her syf today. Hope she did well:)Still trying my best to get my head right to study for the upcoming exams. I'm still lost in the amazon.
hahas.
guess what world!
I got to laugh today.

So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?
Z out <3

WE ARE ALL FRUIT JUICES

2007-04-10T00:08:00.000+08:00

If i gave you a gummy, would you cheer up?

Monday's out the door.
Zara:"Hi Tuesday."
tues: no reply.

What else can i say?
I had a rather smooth flowing day. Was stressing out over unfinished literature but i completed it!
yes, i did alright.
My mind was clear, my targets were set.
But when night came,I totally lost it all.
Powerlessly i fought, i succumbed under its spell.

I'm not the type to condemn or to judge you.
But tonight, the silence has to broken.
for your sake, my sake.

You made my heart flutter.
You recreated a feeling that
i thought could never be brought back.
Boy was i surprised,
how fast my heart fell.
I never did believe at love at first sight.
To me that was just a concept of thinking,
but you came and changed it all.
I simply wanted to know more.
Step by step was what should have been.
All i got was the melody,
when the lyrics of your existence meant so much more.
I tried my best to understand.
Time after time,i came up all kinds of excuses for you.
Maybe you were busy or just exhausted.
A call, a msg, would have been fine.
Even a reply was so difficult for you to handle,
it made you look mistakingly useless.
To the world you maybe the sweetest thing,
to me you couldn't even be that one warm fuzzy thing.
Bothersome sleepless nights i lay below,
to just see you smile could corrupt my innermost thoughts.
I am tired and sick of fighting.
These inner battles i face every now and then.
You may have lost interest
or rather that lovely sight.
Don't tell me I'm not the only one,
because i'm not up for that now.
Not tonight.
Stronger is what i always have to be,
how much stronger do i have to be?
There's definitely 1 thing i'm sure of
and that is
i've got to be stronger
to get over you.

you take your sweaters
you take your time
you might have your reasons but you will never have my rhymes
i'm gonna sing my way away from blue
i'm gonna find another you.

d-d-don't pretendd.

2007-04-08T17:20:00.000+08:00

Been trying to post this entry up yesterday night but my connections were being annoying.
I'm lazy to type it all over again.

I'll just let the music entertain you this time around.

Lost in the trance of emptiness.
hmmmmmmmm?

Z out. <3

Zoning out.

2007-04-06T23:40:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wished talking like this in real life existed?

Just when i thought saturday was here,
I then realised it was 11.25 PM.
Oh my lordddddddddddddish.
Knew i shouldn't have taken that "short nap".
My head feels heavier than my body.
Headacheee.

<3

NITWIT

2007-04-06T05:44:00.000+08:00

It's actually 6.50 now.Can you believe i'm still awake?
Good friday everybody.
Haven't written anything for a really long time.
Due to the computer being infected with virus and all,it got quite hard to enter sites.
And in the end, i just got bored and lazy.
But i've been saving lots of drafts. (in my head at least)
I want to say loads of things that have happened recently but don't know whether it's appropriate to say.
So i guess i should not =P
Plus it's all down and depressing stuff.
I'm sure you'll get bored half way through so i'll spare you the details.
I'm basically lost in a trance.
If i don't snap out soon..
I don't know what else to do with myself man.

These are some pictures of the boyys.
retards! but still cute.

Go stand on the table & look at the world with a different perspective.
wouldn't that be funn?
YA RIGHT.

2007-03-25T16:46:00.000+08:00

I should just say 1 thing.
I need to get a life.
It's so true until it's not even funny.
flying away.
later.

z out <3

Ultimate..

2007-03-23T00:04:00.000+08:00

Number 2240.

the wait to see the doctor was sooo long.
How dumb was i not to have gone to my family doctor?
ultimate idiot.
Got my Mc, and medicine.
It's not that i want to be absent from school,but I can't help it if i'm sick.
I feel sick.
Keep worrying about things that are not important!
UGH.
sick.
both in body&mind.
sleeep.

zara out <3

hormones dispersed.

2007-03-20T22:15:00.000+08:00

sleeping mind, thumping heart.

4.Ask What's going on.

zara out <3

show me that you want me.

2007-03-18T17:15:00.001+08:00

Muse-
time is running out.

I think I'm drowning
Asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
That you've created

You're something beautiful
A contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

You will be the death of me
You will be the death of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom
Bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted

Now that you know I'm trapped since ovulation
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation

You will squeeze the life out of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Ooooohh

You will suck the life out of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Ooooohh

Hi. i'm Zara, and your tune into private session on blogspot.com.

Oh dear.
What is happening.
This world i'm living in is becoming mad. wait.
contradictions after contradictions.
This world i'm living in IS mad.
Anyways, my march holidays sucked.
basically i'm just zoning out into the absence of the mind.
L was away on holiday, D was busy with never ending camps and N was busy with her cca.
Me?
just bumming around.
Terrible isn't it?
I keep telling myself to do something about it but i never do.
Was pretty down these few days but i'm alright now.

someone amazingly funny said this to me:
" You've got to be strong. can't be weak.Never give away your heart.".
But here's the question.
If you don't give your heart, then where's the love?
They all say High expectations.
They all say Too demanding.
Then let me ask you.
"what's the point of talking highly of yourself, when you can't live up to it?"

I need someone who i can rely on.
Someone funny to vanish my boo boos away.
Someone who isn't shy to do the dumbest thing with me.
Like go into shops and try clothes of the fun out of it.
Play pool with me and not hit me with the pool ball.
Drink beer with me without faking that "your drunk".
Someone who would sneak out of the house at 3 in the morning to the beach.
Play arcade games with me without saying "it's just somewhere i don't want to be seen."
but the most important thing that only matters to me.
Is to show me that you want me.

i guess that "someone" does not exist.
Not in the world I'm forced to live in.
Not at least.

zara out <3

stab stab stab. oh noo! she's dead.

2007-03-12T21:08:00.000+08:00

The cold wind blew
She stared into the dead sky.
She looked at her bloody hands,
with tears in her eyes.
What had she done?
what had she done!
She looked at dropped gun,
collapsed without a sound
and waited for morning to come.

<3

PRESS & LET GOO!

2007-03-07T20:53:00.000+08:00

My computer is so cocked up!
All it's best for now is to hang on me.
UGGH.

Missing in action.

2007-03-06T22:21:00.000+08:00

my life is shitty.
my studies are the last thing on my mind.
my heart is hurting.
my mind is lost in the emptiness of this air.

i don't understand.
I really don't see the point in trying when all seems to fails.
I need a sign.
A sign that things will get better.

zara out. <3

BLACK GREY WHITE.

2007-03-02T00:04:00.000+08:00

just when you think half day was going to give me time to take a break, it actually made me feel even more tired. Had "celebrations" in school for Canossian saint's day. Father who did mass was very nice. Treated us with respect & like young adults without taking the fun away. In the end we got punished for being ''disrespectful''! C'mon man. Yes, we talked and definitely laughed a little here and there. But to punish all of us by sitting in the hall for 40 mins doing nothing was cruel man! ugh. Glad that was over. Went out with JEMIE <3 style="font-style: italic;">Mr seducing perfect, so the rest of us did. Henney such a heart throb.
I'll tell you more about what's going on & about the handsome Henney yeah?
off to sleep.

zara zZz-ing out <3

i'm not thai.

2007-02-25T21:38:00.000+08:00

took these on friday. got bored.
will you be there to sit & walk with me?
just got major news. Jie's wallet got stolen. AGAIN. poor thinggg. Not sure about the whole story but i'll get to the bottom of it.Man. Stay away from my sister man. Leave her alone. Stop screwing up her life overseas.
It's back to school tomorrow. Ugh. naggy teachers and shacks of work. shoot me now.
I mean seriously. I know i should be studying hard but i'm not doing anything man.
WHY JACLYN ZARA SUKUMARAN! WHY!
yes. and i'm not Thai.

zara out <3

strike1.strike2.strike3 & your out!

2007-02-25T02:17:00.000+08:00

Aren't they cute?
They so are rights.
Ha has.
Went to town today. Tuition teacher couldn't make it this morning so bummed around the house and did nothing. Jemie wore her sexy outfit today. Too bad i didn't take a picture of her. Met liana at cine and guess what! We wasted 6 bucks each on an umbrella each. i shared the cost with jemie so not too bad. It's Uport and it's quite fugly. ha has.

Made our to wisma,far east & zara. Bummed into the cute crazy mooses at far east.
Had burger king for dinner and walked around some more. Jeanette met nicole and met us in mango at lido. Jeanette was suffering from the sunburns she got,when she went to sentosa. POOR THING!

Took 36 to pp. Saw amet,ks,chris & faith. Had Mc wings meal for supper man. I'm such a PIGG. Got to start losing weight soon. Played pool with faith and got my butt kicked man. ha has. But i had fun.

You should have told me.
I wouldn't have gone.
Now we're probably pissed of with one another so badly.
we'll never talk again.
don't worry.
I'll be fine without you.
Go entertain her.

I'm so sick of species X. Ugh. Enough of nonsenses & bullshit.

zara pissed off <3

i could be violet sky.

2007-02-23T17:06:00.000+08:00

these are delayed but this is your chance to view them! Chinese new year period.

say cheese.

The cny runway crew.

we were the best out of the rest :)

at grandmama's house.

grandmama!

get one chance to see the new furniture.

layout for cny.

check out the nails baby.

sexy mia.

It's dark & cloudy.
hmmmmm. what could that possibly mean?
It's a Friday once again.Bet you think i was gonna say WOOHOO rights? Surprisingly and honestly, I'll say I'm not. It feels tiring,lonesome & dead.
I want to go out.
Go for coffee or something. Stone at something and get lost in it. Sounds scary? i know.
ugh. take me shopping now.

NEED TO GO OUTTT.

zara out <3

i'll huff and puff.

2007-02-22T21:16:00.000+08:00

Have you ever gotten one of those days where you just wanted someone to hold you tight?
Nothing much happened today in class. Miss Rose & Mrs loke didn't come to class. no maths and ss.Too i haven't done any work yet.
BUMMER. well. gonna sleep early today.

_____________Grace Kelly.
Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?

I could be wholesome
I could be loathsome
I guess Im a little bit shy
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me without making me try?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
Ive gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you walk out the door!

How can I help it
How can I help it
How can I help what you think?
Hello my baby
Hello my baby
Putting my life on the brink
Why dont yo like me
Why dont you like me
Why dont you like yourself?
Should I bend over?
Should I look older just to be put on the shelf?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
Ive gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you walk out the door!

Say what you want to satisfy yourself
But you only want what everybody else says you should want

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you walk out the door!

zara out <3>

one minute you see me.next minute you don't!

2007-02-21T21:42:00.000+08:00

I've been caught up with a hell lot of stuff! Will be back another day to blog what is going on in my chaotic life.
p.s. well done to those who participated in the cny 'runway' fashion show from 5/2. we guys rocked <3. Not forgetting 5/1 too :)

gotta catch up on work first!

zara kisses <3

hellos!

2007-02-17T17:20:00.000+08:00

hellos! I'm new at this. So hopefully I'll get better!
ha has. Chinese new year eve. Reunion dinner.
More food. oh dear.

zara out <3